Today I would like to talk about endings. In particular ending relationships. Even relationships that start off wonderfully can stray off course and life gives us little training in relationships that has become unhealthy.
I can’t remember many movies where two friends respectfully part ways. Our culture encourages the idea that friendships are life long, that we just need to endure the rough patches. That the relationships only have a value if they last forever.
Sometimes, relationship that is in trouble can be revived with attention and care, but other times we need to honour their ending. Relationships can become unhealthy for us – whether its romantic partner with the habbit of disrespect, or friend who encourages behaviours like judgement and gossip.
We all remember spending time with someone later feeling disparished, misunderstood or unappreciated. Even if just the thought of ending relationship brings us to a state of discomfort. Its important to ask ourselves: Am I just being selfish? How would this person react? Will it change who I am if I end relationship with this person’s friend.
It doesn’t feel good to break up with someone, but the short discomfort of ending the relationship may carry less anguish and allow things to continue.
I recently had an experience where I had to step away from the friendship of many years. A pattern has unfolded where this friend became consistently inconsiderate. Even addressing concerns with her, some issues continued to build up and even escalated. Being that things are unlikely to change, I created some distance and in feeling into the peace that distance offered, I quickly realised, it is time to let that friendship go. And it’s OK.
By choosing to end the friendship, we are not making a value judgement about the other person. We are simply taking care of our own needs in this moment. As we navigate life, we want to respect other people. But first and foremost, we must honour ourselves in the pursuit of happiness, positivity and growth.
Often, if we connect to our soul and listen deeply, our instincts are telling us when its time to move on.
“Im learning to love the sound of my feet, walking away from things not meant for me.”