When I was researching the reasons for this, I was trying to find the source of this female self-devastative behaviour.  I found that behind all of this is very cruel history driven by fear of men who used to punish ‘uncomfortable’ women by executing them through death by burning, persecution, sexism and misogyny (hatred aimed against women).

There is also a lot of women who also can judge other women who express the doubt about the hundreds of years old cultural stereotypes and ‘moral truths’.

Also, in our society people understand someone who is a ‘strong woman’ as a form of lesbian, or emancipated woman, the one that manipulates, the ‘bitch’, ruthless feminist or successful manager with big elbows and bold attitude.  Others see strong woman as the one that sacrifice herself for others, the one who bravely carries her own destiny on her shoulders.

It is about strong women who are able to step up from the role of little girls requesting men to rescue them to the ones that can say to their men: “I don’t need you as I am whole and perfect just the way I am and I will meet you with pleasure, so we can mutually share who we are and learn one from another.”  This kind of woman is filled with love, her heart is open and with this heart, she is opening the heart of her man.

On the basis of my own personal development and hundreds of women who came through my practice in the past years often dealing with low self esteem, various addictions as well as fear from loneliness, I collated few signs I believe are some of the signs of a strong woman.

1. She is free and she knows what she wants

She doesn’t settle for anything less than joy, love and internal peace of mind – she doesn’t give in to emotional blackmail, it’s not possible to manipulate her or force her into anything.

2. She is stable

She is not making fast foolish decisions, she allows enough time for every choice she makes although she can be spontaneous and enjoys that too.  She is not being knocked down by temporary failure, nor gets big headed from achieving the success. She knows every state is just a temporary moment and soon it will be changed.  She is aware of life changing constantly.  She is also aware that growth and grounding she can find only within herself.  Her emotions are not hurting others.  She is not using them to attack, nor to run away.  Her emotions lead her to disappearance of her false identity.

3. She is not putting herself in the position of a victim

She is not complaining.  She is not pretending she is a poor woman, she is not blaming others.  She is aware of others behaviors and she takes full responsibility for her own behaviour.  She know she doesn’t need to do anything to be loved.  She doesn’t need to manipulate to be loved.  She just simply lives her life being herself and never doubts love from other people, because she loves herself.

4. She is aware she is creating her world with her thinking in every moment

She is aware of the burden from her family default, mental programming in the form of the blue prints and she knows she doesn’t need to be guided by them, because she can change them any time.  She is able to recognise motives behind her actions, that are not coming from the space of unconditional love.  She knows how to come back to herself, how to fulfill her needs that haven’t been fulfilled in her childhood. She knows the energy she gives to her thoughts is the energy with which she is creating her relationships and attracting circumstances in her life.

5. She is not scared to show her feelings and show vulnerability

She is authentic.  She shows it when she is scared.  She can fully show and experience pain.  She feels the freedom of her own self expression.  She is not trying to pretend she is a hero and she never suppresses her feelings.  She has a willingness to take off the mask to show who she truly is.  Thanks to this, she is gradually letting go of limiting feelings of fear, guilt and shame.  She is giving up the pride and can admit to her own mistake.

6. She doesn’t manipulate others

She never forces anyone into anything.  She realises her own right to decline and in the same way she is willing to receive the same from others.  She is able to look after all her needs, so she is not dependent on anyone.  At the same time, she can also ask for help and she values herself enough knowing she deserves support from others.

7. She is confident

She is realising her high value and she knows that it is not dependant on anything that is coming from the outside.  She knows that opinions of other people are not what defines who she is.  She accepts also negative aspects of her character and is not hurting herself feeling guilty for not being perfect or knocking herself down.  She is able to learn from her mistakes.  She is nourishing only relationships where others value, nourish and love her.

8. She knows her boundaries

Strong woman has an open heart, she is sensitive and empathetic, but if someone is harsh to her, she can stand up for herself and set the clear boundaries.  She is able to re-bound the attack with the same energy.  She is not pretending to be spiritual letting her passive approach to hurt her inside.

9. She knows where she is going

She is fully herself and she recognises what is good for her.  She is passionate and is seeking for the higher truth in everything she believes in.  She never fights with anyone, she is modest and peaceful progresses in what is important to her every day.  She retrieves from people who are affecting her with their own fears or don’t wish her well.

10. She loves and values herself

She doesn’t strive for appreciation from others or compliments.  She appreciates herself.  She doesn’t get fooled by the sweet talk of men, she feels their hidden agenda to use her.  She is only opening up to men, who is trying to get to know her and love her genuinely, therefore she attracts mature and conscious men.

11. She is faithful to her values and beliefs

She has clarity about her internal values and moral beliefs and is being guided by them in all she does.  She cant be bought.  Her soul or body cant be sold.  She listens to her intuition and is being guided by the good feeling.  She listens to advice from the outside and she considers them, but she makes the final choice according her own gut feeling.  She is never doing things she doesn’t want to do or because she should do or it is expected from her.

12. She knows her female gifts and she uses them

She is able to tune into her intuition and listen to her internal wisdom.  She doesn’t live in illusion that she is safe if she can analyse things with her brain. She knows when to let things to take their own course and when its time to take the leadership in the matters in her life.

13. She values and respects men

She let her man to be vulnerable in front of her.  She knows how to support him and how to bring him new faith, that he is strong and he will manage all that he wants.  Men don’t feel shy to show vulnerability or their flaws in front of the strong woman.  They know they are safe to take of their mask, because they feel this woman can see right through them anyway.  He knows she accepts and loves him anyway without judgment.  Strong woman realises that men are less emotional and she knows how to guide him with his feelings to avoid manipulation.

14. She knows herself and she is not feeling guilty for anything

She is aware of her own shadow.  She is not suppressing it, she accepts it all while she is bringing it back into harmony.    She is strong just because she accepted her ‘shadow’, she experienced it fully and received it with grace.  She doesn’t have feelings of guilt or shame.

15. She doesn’t stay in disfunctional relationships

She realises that relationships serve us to grow, therefore she is listening to her internal voice and she never stays in relationships where she feels uncomfortable at all cost not to be lonely or because of the society is forcing her to do so.  She learns in every relationship and takes necessary steps to transform internally to make sure she moves forward and prevents the same problem repeating again.

If there are children in relationship, she realises, that she would serve them the most if she shows them how to complete powerful disfunctional or toxic relationship.

16. She knows how to communicate her needs

She is not pretending to be a “good girl”, who doesn’t need anything and is modest.  She knows how to ask for what she wants.  Men love to fulfill desires to this kind of woman, because they feel her love, gratitude and freedom.  It is his pleasure to dedicate himself to this woman and provide her with emotional comfort.

To find our internal gifts and source of our internal power – this is the task for us women.  It is fairly challenging and long term process that takes true internal choice not to put up with anything less then deep unconditional love and so often face the emotional wounds hidden inside us.  The wounds often received during our childhood, those caused to our mothers and those caused to all women in our society.If we conquer this, we not only heal our own hurt hearts and our own destroyed self-esteem, but we will also heal our toxic relationships we attract over again, which causes us longing for the kind of love we are dreaming about.

Woman is love and she has a great power.  Using this power, energy of a healed woman is one of the basic keys towards increase of love, connection and joy on our planet.