Recently I spoke to lady who just started one of my programs. During our conversation, she shared her frustration that after quite some time of her trying, she is still caught up with attachment. She would regularly criticise her family not doing things exactly as she liked and was frustrated with herself, because they knew that her expectations are the ones causing her angst. She asked me how she could push forward to make faster progress and I smiled as couple of weeks is not a long time to change the lifelong habits. When I started with my own personal development couple decades ago, I’ve learned that some take enormous amount of time to change. Throughout the years I cultivated far more patience and gentleness than I had at the beginning of my path. A type of gentleness that is essential for a change.
This point is nicely illustrated in one of the Aesop’s stories and it goes like this:
One day the Wind and the Sun were looking at the Earth together and they saw the young man passing by. It was a cool fall day and he wore jacket and a scarf to keep warm. The Wind turned to the Sun and said: “I bet I can get that man to take of his jacket sooner than you can!” The Sun agreed to this little challenge and sat back to watch the Wind in action. The Wind took a deep breath and blew a great gust of air towards the man, but man just walked faster, so the Wind blew faster and faster, but the man only buttoned up his jacket and pulled his scarf even tighter. The Wind was unsuccessful. The Sun took different approach – it gently shone its rays down and withing minutes, the man warmed up, he loosened his scarf, unbuttoned his coat and soon, removed them both.
In this story, the Sun represents gentleness and warmth and Wind agression and force. When we look at our own lives, going through the change, force usually doesnt work. Beeting ourselves up for the mistakes, being inpatient and critical, it will all just lead to frustration and we then cling even more strongly to our defences. Like a sun that gently shines from above, change requires the gentleness and time – no amount of pushing or forsing will lead to a lasting change.
So if you are feeling impatient on your path, try to directing patience and gentleness your way. This is the pathway to your growth.
“Let tenderness pour from your eyes the way sun gaises warmly on the earth.”