5 Languages of Love

Where does Valentine’s Day come from?

The person of educated Valentin is surrounded by many legends and one of them is talking about his imprisonment being caused by him healing Christian prisoners, another is talking about him being found guilty for blessing the marriages of young Christian couples in spite of this being prohibited from Caesar for which St Valentine had been executed on 14th February 269.

So what is the message of St Valentine and how do we translate the word ‘love’ into our daily life in modern world?

One of my great discoveries 15 years ago was when I found out we all have different languages of love and various preferences how we like to receive this beautiful feeling.

Words of Reassurance

Words of encouragement, acknowledgments, praises and thank you’s as well as someone asking you for forgiveness. Some people have a strong feeling you don’t value or like them if you don’t share it through your words. They also like to say ‘I love you’. It is their preferential language of love and therefore, they like to receive it back the same way in order to feel loved.

Attention

This one is about us spending time together. Whether it is a trip, cinema, night out or someone finding a time to truly listen and paying attention to your feelings. It is a sense that you are spiritually connected with another one. For people who prefer this language of love, it means much more to them than expensive presents or words of acknowledgment. Simple conversation can charge them with extraordinary energy and security about your love towards them.

Presents

A present is something tangible – the symbol through which we express: “I was thinking about you”; “I love you”. The present itself is not important, it is an emotional expression we deliver through this present. It is a symbol of our love and for some people is this the primary language of love. It can be anything including the simple something you made yourself.

Service

Under this language of love, we don’t mean slavery, manipulation or taking advantage of someone. It is actions that we do, because we feel like it. To many of us, the greatest pleasure is an opportunity to give. If you help someone with their course work, wash their dishes, or with anything else that makes their life easier and they are grateful to you for the rest of the week, the chances are this may be their primary language.

Physical Contact

Touches are also one of the primary languages of love. If this is your primary language, you will be someone who is open and loves/craves to be hugged. Physical expressions of love including sexual intimacy will be speaking “I love you” louder than words themselves. If we stop touching our partner who has this preferable language, he/she will be feeling isolated and will start having a doubts about your relationship towards him or her. If this is your friend’s preferred language, a friendly tap on the shoulder or a hug makes wonders! Try it out ?

It is important to acknowledge and embrace our differences, speak about them and show love to our partner in such a way that he/she will understand the message and at the same time, freely express and talk about your preferences and enjoy being listened to and receive.