Month by month during our period, we experience the same versions of impatience, anger, sadness, frustration, forcefulness, feeling of being overwhelmed and ‘losing it’.
Did you know hundreds of years ago, women used to get together in the sacred space called ‘Red Tent’ where they spent time together welcoming a new life, celebrating with young girls becoming women, menstruating, sharing the stories, nurturing themselves and each other? It was a sacred place respected by the whole tribe. Men often used to come and humbly ask menstruating women for their wisdom in important matters connected with the future of the whole tribe.
All this emotional messiness of the premestruum is connected with power, including the feelings of vulnerability, woundedness and upset. The word ‘power’ may sound strange in this context as certainly I used to experience my period days more like a weakness and frankly, due to a pain, irritability and discomfort, I couldn’t wait it to go away.
In my native language, the nickname for the period is translated as ‘rubbish’, which is clearly indicating wherever in the world, as women, we just want to get rid of it!
But what if there is another way we can experience this time of the month every month?
What if we allow ourselves the rest we deserve, what if we create our period for ourselves as something sacred, the space where we go within, the time when we heal, connect with our intuition, replenish our energy and access our inner child wisdom, the time when we nurture ourselves more.
You may think in western world, it is impossible for women to pause a little during your period, never mind to slow down during their periods, but is this really true? Do we have no word in how it goes for us? How about training our loved ones to see us as the Goddesses that we are?
Here are 10 practical tools you may want to consider:
1. Look After Yourself during your Period
Schedule in your diary enough time for rest and extra sleep for the days of your period and do not compromise these for nothing else! It is a ‘you’ time, that is equally if not more important time than for anyone or anything else. Book in the 2 hour pampering candle bubble bath, go for a massage or walk barefoot on the sunshine in the park. Get sensual, feel the breeze on your skin, notice the colours, be gentle and romantic, hug the tree, really feel it, create the possibility of being the one with the mother nature.
2. Slow Down
This is the time to bring simplicity in life – just do the basics of daily living now, no organising great projects, no windows spring cleaning. Encourage your partner to do the food shopping and cook something nice for you. Allow him to massage your feet. Explain kids about the ‘mummy time’ – they love you and if washing dishes is the loving thing to do and what will make you smile, they will be excited to do that. Notice the more you show yourself love and look after yourself, the more attention they will pay to your needs, the more love they will express without you asking.
3. Hold the Tension
Here we are, ready to ‘explode’ for all self reflected injustice, all the stuff we ‘accumulated’ over the years. This is the exact moment to pause and ‘sush’! As women, we are powerful to create, but also powerful to destroy anything that stands in our way. Let’s be responsible for this power, save ourselves time to apologise and feel guilty for launching our ‘missiles’ afterwards. Let’s face it, they don’t deserve it and we always regret it afterwards as we really love them!
Drop your endless agendas, aspirations and ambitions and momentarily ‘die’ inside. Just hang out, lie down, do nothing, stare into space, just find some way to STOP mentally as well as physically. Forget about the session in the gym and if you want to do something truly beneficial for your body, allow it to rest. Maybe just sit, open your hips allowing the blood to flow down freely and do a soothing 15 minute meditation. Go within!
No, it’s not about being selfish, it is self-preservation. People around you initially may not like this, but remember, this is something that you are doing for yourself and actually, it is important for them too as without you being there for yourself, you will be no good to anyone anyway. This is the time when you should unashamedly give to yourself!
We usually like to talk or to be stimulated from our surrounding. Take some time without TV (especially daily news), music, computers, mobile phones. Go into a space of silence, soften from within and embrace the healing within the space of solitude. As women, we are known over the centuries for our capacity to heal ourselves in silence.
7. Get to Know the Genie within You
You may feel strong sense of connecting to your wildness. Or maybe even an urge to release the feelings of the resentment, frustration or resignation. Write the journal, observe, notice and write it all down. Get interested in your own feelings and use the guide inside you. Check in with yourself. Where is this thought coming from? How does it impact my life, my well-being and people I care about? Be compassionate with the ‘not so perfect you’. Trust me, you are complete and wonderful as you are.
8. Allow for Some ‘Losing It’ Time
Little ‘losing it’ time is also healthy. Also, it may sound I am contradicting myself, allowing yourself to let go is one reason why our cycle is good for us physically and psychologically. This is the moment you stop holding it all together, give up and walk away, then weep and feel sorry for yourself. Time when you break your own rules and shout out loud into the woods. Whatever it is – enjoy!
9. Reflect on Your Power
What kind of dreams are you having and are they repeating themselves? How does your inner voice experience speak to you about the power that is inside you? What do you know about the power within you and how do you use it? How does the true power look like and how are you choosing to use it? What can you learn from this time and how can you let go of what is no longer serving you? Or can you create something new and exciting?
10. Experience the Gratitude
Our period is the gift of a unique ability to create a new life, the gift only we have as women. Let’s welcome it with acceptance, gratitude and love. Let’s allow every cramp or a back pain be a reminder of the gift. Let’s bring the breath and the softness to the space where our ovaries live and say ‘I thank you’.
How do you ladies experience your periods?